Here’s what I know about you
You are restless and experiencing a continuous discomfort by trying to be the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect friend, the perfect employee, the perfect woman.
And I want you to know that it’s not your fault and you are not alone.
This is my story and the story of many women.
You are pressured to conform to the feminine code of conduct
In essence, it’s this idea that women are powerless and not trustworthy of making the best choices for their lives, unless they make space for the world’s demands and rules.
I believe the feminine code of conduct leads to what I call the happiness trap.
The Happiness Trap is the tension that arises when you are ready to take decisions and make choices based on what works for you instead of what society expects of you.
The happiness trap manifests itself in the life of many women trough four unhelpful stories:
- Martyrdom (Let’s sacrifice our pleasure),
- Obedience (Let’s sacrifice our sovereignty),
- Diminishment (Let’s ignore our brilliance and joy)
- Masks ( Let’s deny our truth and humanity).
The thing is, because those stories are echoed and validated everyday trough people we love and trust – we’ve never stopped to consider wether they are working for us.
And that’s why they are more harmful.
The Happiness Trap is giving you the illusion of a fulfilled life – But, deep inside :
You are dissatisfied with the direction your life is going and there aren’t many people who are ready to help you come back and make peace with the truth that I know deep inside you are struggling with :
Maybe it’s difficult for you to ask for what you want & prioritize yourself.
or perhaps you find it hard to embrace your gift and live your full potential.
And it could be that you wrestle to accept all of who you are and that your best is enough.
Or you might find it hard to trust your decisions and choices – and tend to seek external validation.
That’s what I create space for. I do that by helping you define who you are, explore and name what you want (and not what you think you should want) so you can progressively unhook from the happiness strap and get the confidence to live according to your own truth, wisdom, and knowing.
Because what you truly want is the freedom to choose how you relate to your body, how you communicate your desires and needs, how you engage in sex, how you show up in your parenting , how you lead.
The things I believe
Discover the unhelpful story keeping you from living the life you want
Take the living unrestrained quiz and get your detailed report to start creating the change you need.
What Others Say
Vanessa lives her program. She has broken down the how-to surrounding embodiment so that all you have to do is show up for the ride. It was an empowering program led by a welcoming teacher.Dimitra Stathopoulos
Thank you for the wonderful class, Vanessa. I tend to not share in groups while I am working through important things, so I appreciate the freedom to work alone during this class. I would like to share with you, though–the practices and journaling that you gave us have exposed tensions in my body that have been with me since early childhood. Memories have surfaced that I didn’t realize were still lingering, causing my body to live in a constant state of “bracing for impact”. I feel like this class has initiated a period of reconnection and healing at a level I didn’t know I needed, and even though pain is surfacing, you have made it a joyful and beautiful experience. Thank you. You are a wonderful teacher and guide and I am grateful to be connected with you.James- Olivia Chu Hillman