Start living a life that feels right for you…

Not the one your family and society thinks you should live

Hey I’m Vanessa Mentor!

I’m a freedom catalyst + Life Coach dedicated with helping women buck the status quo without feeling guilty or remorse, so they can escape the Happiness Trap and finally take care of themselves for a change.

I specialized in working with ambitious professionals, free spirited creatives and feminists entrepreneurs who want engaging careers and pleasureful -nourishing  relationships while being able to nurture their families (if they choose to have one). They realize following  this feminine code of conduct  being forced upon them is the reason they feel so unhappy in a life they should love.

 

Let me guess! always trying to do what is expected of you is leaving you feeling like a shell of a person?

 

You are not alone. 

The same is true for so many women. Myself included. 

And it’s not your fault.

With all this pressure to conform to the feminine code of conduct – the idea that women are powerless, shouldn’t be seen not heard & can’t be trusted to make big life decisions by themselves without getting ostracized – it’s no wonder that smart, capable, fiery women like yourself are feeling trapped.

 

In fact I believe, this feminine code of conduct is chaining women up in what I’ve named the Happiness Trap.

 

The Happiness Trap gives you the illusion of a fulfilled life – But, deep inside, you’re frustrated and tired with the direction your life is going.

 

Inside you’re struggling with :

 

– Saying “yes” when you really want to say “no” or worst saying “no” when you secretly want to say yes.

– Asking for support & prioritize yourself and your needs.

– Daydreaming about the life you’d rather have then dealing with the real life you’ve got

– Making yourself seem “small” so others can feel better about themselves.

– Hating yourself for worrying so much about what other people think of you (I’ve been there)

 

That’s what I created this space for.

To helping you define who you are, explore and figure out what you want (and not what you think you should want) so you can unhook from the happiness trap and get the confidence to live according to your own truth, wisdom, and knowing. 

 

The Happiness Trap shows up in 4 sneaky ways:

 

  1. Martyrdom : I have to do it all . I shouldn’t ask for help (let’s sacrifice our self-care and pleasure) 
  2. Obedience : They know better than I do. It’s easier if I just do what I’m told. I seek for approval (let’s silence our sovereignty and wisdom)
  3. Diminishment:  I’m responsible for other people’s happiness. I don’t want to hurt their feelings (let’s ignore our brilliance and joy)
  4. Masks: I can never be and do enough (let’s deny our uniqueness, authenticity and humanity).

 

The thing is, because those stories are echoed and validated everyday trough people we love and trust – we’ve never stopped to consider wether they are working for us. 

And that’s why they are more harmful.

 

But, when we join forces, together we can change the narrative.

The things I believe 

 

1

Your story is part of your legacy

Live the story you want to tell.

2

True freedom is letting yourself be who you are

At various moments of your life, you’ll stop because of the stories of your past. While those stories could be true…there could be other stories yet untold.

Your responsibility is to decide who you really are and what other stories you truly want to tell about yourself.

 

 

3

Our body is an important part of life

I believe that the body holds our life stories and those that are yet to be told. Our relationship with our body informs how we relate to the earth and the people around us.

4

Real collective change can’t happen until we heal individually. 

Because for centuries women have been deprived of their right to develop a healthy and conscious relationship with their body, and sexuality, I believe this is where we need to heal the most and write a new story.

5

The most important kind of love is action

There’s always going to be something that makes you doubt who you are and give you the illusion that you don’t love yourself. And in those moments you’ll start turning around and over analyzing; thinking ” you are the problem”.

When in fact, you only need to take a tiny step and keep walking toward what you want and who you are.

 

6

I stand for Embodied wisdom &Truth telling

You carry in your body and psyche the answers to most of life’s questions and challenges. Practice connecting and listening to that wisdom.

If you want to start living unrestrained, the first step is choosing and telling the truth ( to yourself and others).

7

Living Unrestrained is not an easy path

Because most of us have learned to fear who we are and what we truly desire, choosing to live life in the light of our own wisdom can feel threatening to ourselves and people around us.

Taking on that journey requires that you show up every day for yourself trough a practice.

Ready to go from being the nice woman to living authentically and truly happy.

Take the living unrestrained quiz and get your detailed report to start creating the change you need.

 Interested in hearing more of my story

 

What Others Say

Vanessa lives her program. She has broken down the how-to surrounding embodiment so that all you have to do is show up for the ride. It was an empowering program led by a welcoming teacher.

Dimitra Stathopoulos

Thank you for the wonderful class, Vanessa. I tend to not share in groups while I am working through important things, so I appreciate the freedom to work alone during this class. I would like to share  with you, though–the practices and journaling that you gave us have exposed tensions in my body that have been with me since early childhood. Memories have surfaced that I didn’t realize were still lingering, causing my body to live in a constant state of “bracing for impact”. I feel like this class has initiated a period of reconnection and healing at a level I didn’t know I needed, and even though pain is surfacing, you have made it a joyful and beautiful experience. Thank you. You are a wonderful teacher and guide and I am grateful to be connected with you.

James- Olivia Chu Hillman

Integrative life, leadership, and relationship coach, https://inquisitivehuman.com

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