doesn’t need another nice woman
Womxn Living Unrestrained
Womxn Living Unrestrained are womxn who stop apologizing for who they are and commit to rewrite the body narratives of the dominant culture.
It’s womxn who are joining forces to build businesses that create financial freedom for other womxn. Because womxn who are financially free, improve the livelihood of their families and communities.
Womxn Living Unrestrained are womxn who refuse to remain silent in the face of injustice; womxn who are creating new leadership dynamics rooted in justice, embodied wisdom and love.
And deep care for the self is
The Foundation Of Womxn Living Unrestrained
Self-care is an act of Sovereignty
- ZTaking time to deeply nourish yourself goes against the capitalistic narrative that wants you to starve, stay depleted and exhausted. Because when you are undernourished it is so easy for them to sell you more stuff to fix yourself and keep you blind to the injustice and inequalities that don't touch you directly.
- ZCaring for yourself means that you are awake and truly present to your life realities and making life choices that are in alignment with your true needs and own values. It allows you to hold space for both sorrow and joy.
- ZThere will always be one more crisis to cope with . But when you are rooted in self-care, you are more open to receive the contradictions that life bring you.
- ZSelf-care helps you to remember your self-worth. You gradually lose interest in rushing trough things and can clearly see how you push your own boundaries and let other people step over your limits.
Self-care is an act of Service
- ZWhen you are well self-cared for, you remember who you are and it becomes easier to let people be who they are.
- ZYou are resourced and have more capacity to care for others from a place of true generosity. There is less space for guilt and resentment.
- ZSelf-care gives you the fuel to be a better human and do the work you came here and do.
on what's in the way of
Lack of self-care can be analyzed on two levels:
1) Micro Level : the individual barriers that may reduce a person ability and capacity to practice self-care (age, health conditions, life transition, social status, finance). It’s also embedded in the way a womxn where nurtured as a child and beliefs she carries as a result.
2) Macro level : the external forces that facilitate or prevent the people to practice self-care ( culture, economy, work pay, education system, health system, housing…).
Culturally womxn are encouraged 1) to believe that their options are to be a mom and a wife and forget about being a womxn (hello feminine code of conduct). 2) to be perfect and make everyone happy. And if you do these things – you’ll be happy. And that’s what I call the Happiness Trap.
And the fact that these stories are reinforced everyday ( in subtle and big ways) by people you love, institutions you respect and trust, makes it more difficult for you to prioritize your needs as you do for others.
To that regard, it is not enough to ask people to practice self-care, it is also crucial that we build systems rooted in a justice, equity, and love. The success of a person self-care depends also on their micro and micro environments.
On what's missing in the online
In a Nutshell
I believe that one of the reasons we struggle with self-care, is because we don’t always have the ability nor the capacity. We are taught about what to do as activities, but rarely about the skills needed to build a safe and effective self-care practice.
This is how the Four Competencies of Self-
Care Framework was born.
I consider self-care as a set of learnable skills comprised of four skills :Awareness,Empath, Agency, Leadership.
There are two distinctive worlds that surround your self-care practice – the “internal world” and the ” external world”.
The internal world is related to your practice of care for the self. The external world is related to your practice of care for others.
When we apply the matrix, we see that our practice of care is about awareness and empathy for self and others; agency and leadership (choices) for self and others.
The practice of self-care always starts with the self, because this is the most intimate and vulnerable space where we can experiment with ourselves. The more we understand ourselves, the easiest it becomes for us to understand and extend true nourishing care toward our external world
Self-Care is dynamic
People are distinct individuals and depending on the situation, a person needs specific care. The challenge arises when we apply one type of self-care to every situation.
The Self-Care cycle illustrates the different type of self-care and the needs they help address.
I’ve identified three types of self-care :
Fun Self-Care is temporary. Improves mood in the moment. Good when you need a “quick pick me up” (bubble bath, spa day, a glass of wine, a night out, treats and things you do occasionally).
This is where capitalism wants you to focus and you kinda obsessed with it.
Basic Self-Care is the foundation of your self-care practice. Satisfies body and heart fundamental needs. Solid ground to navigate the day-to-day and manage stress with more ease (rest, diet, breathing, movement, spiritual and human connection).
Where your focus really needs to be but you’re not always on top of it.
Deep Self-Care increases your capacity to stay nourished while caring for others and serving. (boundary setting, conflict resolution, acceptance of differences, decision making that honor your values, honoring your gifts and purpose).
Where you concentrate when you want to live in full integrity, but dreading it because you’re afraid of changing.
The self-care that works :
A mix of practices, routines and rituals that allow you to engage consistently with all three types of self-care; knowing that one doesn’t replace the other.
I'M vanessa mentor
I’m a self-care Educator and Coach. I connect the dots between our individual self-care and the care of the world so you can take actions that heal and restore both.
I teach self-care literacy that helps you untangle the misconceptions and guilt around self-care and redefine what it truly means.
I design self-care rituals that helps you make choices that honor your needs to care for yourself and your world.
I don’t believe in total transformation. I’m 100% positive that you can still have your doubts, fears and failures …and make the change that you want, as long as you cultivate courage and trust.
In that sense, my approach is a slow and steady one. I want you to have the space and time to practice and integrate what you’re learning.