What’s the feminine code of conduct ?

The feminine code of conduct  is a set of predefined cultural and societal rules, demands and expectations(rooted in Patriarchy and Colonialism) on what’s appropriate and good for women.


Every culture has it’s own version of the feminine code of conduct. It is passed on to us trough our religious institutions, the media, the educational system, our family system, our friends and social network, etc.


Maybe you’ve been raised and programmed to believe that women:

  • Are primarily interested in long term relationship and parenthood
  • Do not have great interests in their careers or vocations
  • Are emotional, sensitive and childish
  • Don’t want sex as much as men do
  • Should be silent and not believe in themselves
  • Are responsible for everyone’s happiness or  won’t be loved
  • Don’t want money understand money and can’t negotiate
  • Need to be perfect and do it all
  • Don’t understand money and shouldn’t ask for too much
  • Gossip and don’t get along


In essence, we are fed with this idea that women are powerless and not trustworthy of making the best choices for their lives, unless they make space for the world’s demands and rules.

As a result of  this brainwash,  most women are living in a pattern of over dieting, burn out, decision fatigue, perfectionism, people pleasing and staying small.


We’re either living in MARTYRDOM or OBEDIENCE or DIMINISHMENT or MAKS .

  • I shouldn’t ask for what I want
  • I need to ask for approval
  • People’s need come first
  • I’m not enough. I can never be my true self.


And the thing is, not only are these rules outdated, they’re also harmful.


The feminine code of conduct is dehumanizing to ALL women.


It’s robbing you of your personal sovereignty, wisdom, creative self-expression, joy and the ability to experience life the way you envision it.


Most importantly, it’s taking away your right to be you and own your truth.


So instead of complying, I want you to stand tall, raise your head high and follow the leader in you.


Don’t wait for the world to give you permission. 

You have the wisdom. You have the knowledge. You are the captain of your life. Go fight for your freedom and help create a better world for the women coming after you. After all, this fight is for all of us.

Tell the truth

I want you to own who you are and what you want.

Break the rules with pleasure

I want you to choose the new story you need to write in service of the new life you desire.

Affirm your sovereignty

I want you to build the new legacy you’ll leave for the women coming behind you. 

You’re one decision away from living unrestrained.






Because what you truly want is the freedom to choose how you relate to your body, how you communicate your desires and needs, how you engage in sex, how you show up in your parenting , how you lead.



Identify your pattern.


Bring a new perspective. Create a new belief.


Practice making  choices from your new belief.


I’m Vanessa Mentor – Life Coach and Freedom Catalyst for women who’ve spent the last 40 years doing what’s expected of them

Single mom living in Haiti. Holder of my Ancestor’s Wisdom. Lover of soulful conversations and playful experiences.

My message is Living Unrestrained.  The practice of creating a life that works for you.

 My clients are women who define themselves as feminists entrepreneurs, non conformists – ambitious professional. They have tried to fit in the box and be nice but are now unwilling to use the same plot to write the next chapter of their life.

Ready to go from being the nice woman to living authentically and truly happy.

Take the living unrestrained quiz and get your detailed report to start creating the change you need.

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